What is therapy?

I thought for a long time what I could write about again, since I haven't done it for a long time and somehow this came to me on it’s own. I didn't even think that we should talk about what therapy is, because it is somehow understood, but that doesn't

seem to be the case. Too many times I have encountered this ignorance when I would tell people that I am a therapist. Mostly then I would get the following question: ‘Oh, really! Can I have a massage? Are you good at massaging? 'At first I was annoyed, becaus

e it mostly came from men, so I thought it was about some other ideas and prejudices, but I heard it too many times from women, and quite harmlessly, completely convinced that they know what are they talking about. Really, I wonder what question they ask a male therapist after finding out about his work?

Namely, physical therapy and therapist are by no means one and the same. I don't know what the nomenclatures of the National Employment Services are, since everything is upside down there too, but the therapist does not deal with physical therapy. This is not therapy. These are treatments. Yes, there are protocols and procedures when we go to the doctor and get a certain medicine and methods of application. We also call it therapy, but mostly, therapy means psychological and psychoanalytic techniques and similar consultative methods where you deeply explore your psyche, or subconscious (in my case). These include various types of directions, but certified therapists (psychoanalysts, psychiatrists, psychologists, and all directions from that branch, hypnotherapists, regression therapists, or others who deal with the subconscious and research the dimensions of the soul in similar ways).

These do not include massages, bioenergetics, reiki, tarot, astrologers, energy cleansing, timelines, or subconscious beliefs (as they claim) cleansing, energy reading, meditation, shamanic practices, ceremonies, herbalism, physical therapies of various kinds, life couch methods, cosmetic treatments and the like. Therapy is not a fair, nor a disco club, social club or dating app, by no means either. Although these methods are not without purpose and far from having no effects, and in some ways some of these methods are therapies in their domain, the practitioners of these methods are not therapists because they are not trained to work with the psyche and are called practitioners. These techniques, very often they have their own separate names and certain hierarchies and nomenclatures. Although not every talent needs a certificate, nor is it necessary, nor a measure of talent, for the title of therapist, (or energy psychologist, which for me is the code for selling you smoke, a non-existent profession, unlike energy techniques that are valid but not psychology, and, no it is not enough to say that you are holding a space, helping with integration or leading someone's journey, mentioning some trauma, sharing advice, that is pushing your nose where it does not belong, or whatever appeals to you in that sense for one to actually be a therapist) is needed, from qualified institutions or faculties simply because not everyone has that knowledge in their arsenal. And that knowledge implies recognizing the emotion, without condemning it and the reasons behind it, as well as reflecting the client to himself, dealing with his inappropriate reactions and contents, empathizing, holding boundaries and connecting with his inner strengths (the most basic ones but the list is longer, like recognizing type of trauma and behavioral disorder). I personally do not practice using other techniques, and promote doing reiki, or massages for example, because I do not have enough knowledge of energy or physical anatomy, which is not always necessary if you stay only at the level of energy reading, but if you work with the body it is. As well as the ability to see aura or energy. I stay in the domain of what I know, and that is the psyche and the subconscious and the superconscious, as well as the symbols and stories that accompany it. Everything else that appears and develops in me, or the client during the session, is for further work, both my personal and the client. Of course, there are therapists who are skilled in other methods and successfully combine them in their practice, in accordance with their talents, but they are simply not necessary for this type of work.

Now, we come to another topic, and that is for whom is therapy, that is, for whom is which therapy or method. It depends on the sensitivity of the client and the type of challenge he faces, as well as what he needs on his journey at a given moment. It is something that is mostly felt by the client himself or they are being directed, led in different ways.

In addition to these, there are other prejudices I have come across. Such as:

1. ‘Therapy is only for those who have mental problems.’ And that is why many hide that they go to therapy at all, or are hesitant to go. Therapy is for all those who want to explore their inner world, who want to deepen the connection with themselves and get to know the parts of themselves with which they do not yet communicate. However, this type of therapy that I practice is not for those with more severe clinical picture, such as psychosis, because the mental mind in their case should be in control, while we remove that control in people who want to explore their inner dimensions.

2. ‘Maybe my problem isn’t that important.’ Any problem that makes you feel blocked, dissatisfied, and in pain is important, and there’s no big or small problem. Even a pebble in the shoe creates damage. Pain is pain and everyone has their own, as well as their own threshold of tolerance to the same. However, do not stretch too much that tolerance.

3. ‘It’s just a conversation, what can it change.’ Or, ‘I’m making this up, it’s not real.’

Although in hypnotherapy we do not just stop at the conversation, but we go deeper, it is a key part, both before and during the session. Even just the conversation brings relief, it helps you feel listened to, respected, hear yourself, someone reflects you to you, and thus you organize and handle your inner space out loud. Speaking opens the space of the psyche, especially during the session, and when you are already in a slightly changed state of consciousness, you can easily access the internal contents, and a lot of things are transformed in the initial conversation, when we allow ourselves access to this space. Very often, then during hypnotic regression, you do not even have to be in a hypnotic state to access some memories (unless they are extremely traumatic).

4. ‘No one can help me.’

As long as you have a desire for transformation, progress, there are no lost and unresolved cases. Sometimes the process is just a little longer than for someone else. Also, if you come to a session and refuse any suggestions and cooperation, you don't want to talk to anyone, or you just want to die and end somehow, it means that you have no desire for transformation but have come for relief, a magic wand or to find the culprit again for a situation or part of yourself that you don’t want to be aware of. There is no magic wand to help you if you yourself are not ready to change. Likewise, no one can remove the disease of the physical body, if there is no desire to heal and change yourself and your lifestyle (this includes the way you think and relate to others and the world), the disease of your loved ones (we work on your transformation, not the transformation of the other, and we can only integrate and enlighten the root causes) or the loss of the former (again, we are working on your transformation and understanding of the causes and the way that experience has already changed you). The magic wand, or remote control for your life, your psyche, subconscious and connection with your Soul is in your hands, the therapist in this case is a guide who directs you to understand yourself and connect with yourself.

5. ‘No one understands how I feel.’

No one is you, that is true, but there is always someone who can offer you active, conscious listening and empathize with you. Or maybe he even has similar experiences, both personal and from a multitude of clients. It allows you to feel heard, not condemned because you are feeling something difficult, and it helps to understand, self-understand, and integrate those feelings.

6. ‘I should solve my own problems.’

We all have some of our own blind spots, even the most professional therapists, and we can all expand our perspective when someone else reflects us to us, in a non-judgmental and empathic way.

7. ‘I can’t talk about my life with a stranger whom I don’t know.’

In fact, it is liberating to talk to someone who is sensitive to others, within stable therapeutic boundaries that actually frame all instabilities, and with someone with whom you can take off the mask without consequences.

8. ‘If I tell the truth about myself I will be judged.’

In therapeutic settings, there is nothing more powerful and fascinating than the truth, regardless of whether it is clear or stained or dark.

9. ‘What if I become addicted to therapy?’

A real therapist calls on your inner therapist to take the lead (or an inner healer in some other methods, for example). In the case of my practice it is a Soul, or spirit guides. Therapy should always lead to autonomy. Many of my clients were very dissatisfied when, when asked to tell them what this or that, what they experienced meant, immediately or later, they received the answer that the point of therapy was to be guided by spirit guides, not me. And in fact, that's what they really came for (which sometimes takes a little time), and not to stay hooked to me. Nor are therapists advised to carry other people's energies in their field in the same way (thus the purpose of the session was something other than empowering and connecting with your inner self, and believe me speaking from personal experience, it can create a lot of new, unnecessary problems ).

10. ‘I’m afraid of what I’ll find out about myself.’

I have heard this many times, ‘I would come but…’. We are not definitions, we are much more than that, and self-research and deepening knowledge about ourselves builds, strengthens and only adds to our inner (and outer) beauty.

11. ‘What if my condition gets worse?’

Talking about pain can be scary, but the effect is just the opposite. When we see it, expose it, we create the conditions to reshape it, to reframe it. Besides, sometimes great strengths and talents that we have forgotten are hidden behind it. At the same time, we do not always necessarily investigate only pain.

12. ‘What if because of therapy I stop being me, if I change?’

The goal of therapy is to change, but to actually be more real you, the one who you really are under all the masks, problems, blockages, beliefs, pain. Everything is changing, there are no exceptions, and some changes have already happened to you, because of them you are asking for help, so how could you be an exception to the change. The only constant is change, but at least we can become aware of it and go through it, go with the flow, not against it, and become the best version of ourselves, consciously. When we integrate that, we will integrate the very course of existence. Everything changes, everything flows and nothing is constant.

13. ‘I want change, but I also want everything to stay the same.’

I am dissatisfied with my marriage, but I want him to change, not divorce. And like this for 30 years. I am dissatisfied with my job, I feel trapped, but I want that money, so I stay but I want to be left alone. Or I want to get better, but I don't want to change my diet, stop drinking, smoking and the like. Some even try very hard to change everything around them, even violently, just so that they do not change themselves and everything stays the same. You get the picture. If you want to stay in a certain situation, it means that you have certain benefits, which are mostly unconscious. Just realizing why you are prolonging something, what you are gaining or learning, already brings change. At the same time, these are internal changes we are talking about, the external ones are manifested differently with each client.

Do you recognize yourself in any of these topics, or maybe you have some others? Or do you now have less prejudice about therapy? Let's talk about it.